Boom

I’ve never like award shows. Although I’ve always said I would feel differently, - if I were nominated for an award. In the 80’s all of my close friends were gay men, and most of them seemed to enjoy the Oscars, so I watched a few shows. And I have to say I found them painfully boring, with the exception of Sally Fields in 1985. I never understood why she was reamed for her acceptance speech. Unlike the rest of the show, her speech was entertaining, even if it was a bit like watching a streaker and not being able to look away as the boys blew free in the breeze.

I’ve also never been a sports fan. But I’ve had a thing for a few sports casters. I remember watching the very first ‘Later With Bob Costas’ show in '88. Being a sports ignoramus I had no idea who he was; I’d never even heard of him. But 3 or 4 shows into the series, I’d fostered a huge crush on him. So smart, so well informed, so charming, so able to share the sheer joy he had about the things he was passionate about with the audience. Half way into the first season of his “Later” show I learned he was married, and like a 13 year old girl who just found out her favorite boy band member was unavailable, my heart sank.
My other big sports caster crush is Keith Olbermann. I’d seen his ‘Countdown’ show a few times in 2004 and enjoyed it. But it wasn’t until his amazing ‘Special Comment’ on Hurricane Katrina, right after the disaster that I became a Keith-a-holic. He said everything I felt, but better, since he wove a wealth of historical references into his monologue in this brilliant, poignant, cutting edge way that no one else seems capable of doing. After that I made a point to record his show every day.

On tonight’s show Keith aired a clip of last night’s Oscars with Will Smith flubbing a few words and saving, with the statement “Boom Goes the Dynamite”. I had no idea what that meant. But it sounded cool.
Keith said ‘for those of you who don’t know what that reference is, and he proceeded to tell the story of a young Mr. Brian Collins who, while filling in for a sports anchor at Ball State in 2005 found his teleprompter failing. He stammered and struggled, falling over his words until came a clip of a basket ball player, and as the ball entered the hoop he found a little stride with “Boom goes the dynamite.”

Wow. First I’d like to say kudos to the quick-witted Mr. Smith. I hope if I ever falter while being watched by millions I could be as clever.... even if I know I most definitely would not.
Second, I’d like to thank my beloved Keith for that gorgeous piece of information. And third, “Boom goes the Dynamite’? We need to use this. It is a fantastic expression, far better than any of the other lame sayings that have wormed their way into our vernacular. This already has a modern American history, it has Will’s self-deprecating self-confidence, it has a comeback, it has Keith, it has sports, it has dynamite for Christ’s sake.

I plan on saying “Boom Goes the Dynamite” every time I can’t get my words out properly. So superior to “... in English”, or what I say “... can’t speak.” I hope everyone everywhere will change-up with me. What do you think Bob?